Star Wars Cast Announced for Episode 7

The cast for Star Wars Episode 7 was announced today, and I didn’t make the cut. I guess they didn’t enjoy my Star Wars Audition.
lucille

Here’s the cast of Star Wars Episode 7:

Daisy Ridley aka should have been me.
Daisy
Adam Driver aka douchey guy from Girls.
Adam
Oscar Isaac aka douchey prison husband from Drive.
Oscar
John Boyega aka no idea.
John
Andy Serkis aka Gollum or Smeagol … depending on the day.
Gollum
Domhnall Gleeson aka the oldest of the Weasley children, also part werewolf.
Bill
Max von Sydow aka classic old guy with deep voice.
MaxVonSydow
Harrison Ford aka in my pants.
Han
Carrie Fisher aka teenie weenie gold bikini.
leia
Mark Hamill aka whiny.
skywalker
Anthony Daniels aka gold nuggets.
c3po
Peter Mayhew aka “Uuuuhhhhh Arrrrrrgggg Aahhhhhhrrr.”
CHEWIE
Kenny Baker aka guy living in R2D2.
R2d2