The cast for Star Wars Episode 7 was announced today, and I didn’t make the cut. I guess they didn’t enjoy my Star Wars Audition.
Here’s the cast of Star Wars Episode 7:
Daisy Ridley aka should have been me.
Adam Driver aka douchey guy from Girls.
Oscar Isaac aka douchey prison husband from Drive.
John Boyega aka no idea.
Andy Serkis aka Gollum or Smeagol … depending on the day.
Domhnall Gleeson aka the oldest of the Weasley children, also part werewolf.
Max von Sydow aka classic old guy with deep voice.
Harrison Ford aka in my pants.
Carrie Fisher aka teenie weenie gold bikini.
Mark Hamill aka whiny.
Anthony Daniels aka gold nuggets.
Peter Mayhew aka “Uuuuhhhhh Arrrrrrgggg Aahhhhhhrrr.”
Kenny Baker aka guy living in R2D2.