BJ Does a Toast

Q. What smells like burning plastic?

A. Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi (link reference for the Star Wars ignorant) and this highly flammable Darth Vader toaster.

Darth toaster gets 2. 5 lightsabers out of 5. Points for the toasted Star Wars logo, deductions for the burning plastic smell now wafting about my tiny little apartment.

BJ Does Dim Sum

Welcome to a new series, I have intentionally called, “BJ Does.” It’s like Debbie Does Dallas, except less porn and Texans. I do new things that push me out of my comfort zone, which is pretty easy to do considering most things make me anxious – goats, large dogs, saying no to donating to children’s charities at the check-out at Safeway, people who do Cross Fit, and eating food that isn’t spaghetti.

In this episode, cultural horizons are expanded. I attempt popular Chinese cuisine, Dim Sum, for the first time. Thankfully I had a group of mixed Asian friends to order for me.

The chicken feet were gross, but on the plus side, I discovered I can unintentionally impersonate Chewbacca to the T.

What should BJ do next? Leave your comments below. I’ll do almost anything … but probably not.

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Oscar Quickie

The 86th Annual Academy Awards are here and if you’re like most people, you’ll watch the red carpet bit, relate yourself to Jennifer Lawerence at one point, skip the boring video editing awards (noen needs editng) and go right to the nitty gritty … best picture. One movie, chosen to join to the awesome movie club, where it gets to hang out with Lawrence of Arabia, The Godfather and that movie where Gwyneth Paltrow dresses up as a dude.

I try to make a point of watching all of the films, but this year is special because I did not do that. Boats and short-haired Sandra Bullock didn’t really appeal to me this year. Anyways, I think I got the gist of it, so in case you missed out … here’s a little Academy Award Best Picture quickie.

Star Wars Olympics

The Sochi 2014 Olympics start tomorrow, and the media is making claims that it’s already in the pooper. How can they fix this crap? It’s easy, just add a Star Wars theme! I do it with everything that sucks … just like this video.

Note – I forgot # 4 and #6 because I make great decisions and started making this thing at 11:30 PM last night. One of them was Lightsaber Hockey… and it’s as dangerously fun as it sounds.

Bachelor Canada Audition 2014 – Meet Krista

Here’s my audition for the Bachelor Canada Season 2. I figured this was easier than online dating.

A note to the casting directors – I’m very good at subtle product placement in case you have more sponsors to add this year. Also, I am willing act as the b****y one or the girl who got dumped for Kim Kardashian.