Another Christmas, means another amazing Star Wars Christmas song. This year, it’s all about (or where abouts) is Luke Skywalker in the Force Awakens. We’ve got so many questions! Luckily in 24 hours, we’ll know the answer.
All I Want for Star Wars is Luke
Greedo Got Run Over by a TaunTaun
Q. What smells like burning plastic?
A. Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi (link reference for the Star Wars ignorant) and this highly flammable Darth Vader toaster.
Darth toaster gets 2. 5 lightsabers out of 5. Points for the toasted Star Wars logo, deductions for the burning plastic smell now wafting about my tiny little apartment.
Back by my own unpopular demand, here’s another dork-induced Star Wars Christmas song. Grand Marnier, last year’s sponsor for Vader Baby, unfortunately dropped out due to other holiday commitments. This year, I settled for a $13 bottle of Italian wine. I think it was a red blend? Doesn’t matter.
If you haven’t had the pleasure of growing up with the song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” (the Irish Rovers version) I suggest you give it a go. It has everything you need to celebrate Christmas: family, Santa, gin, and death by Reindeer!
Here’s my Star Wars version, “Greedo Got Run Over by a Tauntaun.”
Straight from my tool box of love, feel free to soak up these Star Wars dating tips like a sponge. I guarantee your lightsaber will get serious action after using these sexy Star Wars pick up lines.
Are you sitting down? Because it’s about to get Hoth and heavy.
The Sochi 2014 Olympics start tomorrow, and the media is making claims that it’s already in the pooper. How can they fix this crap? It’s easy, just add a Star Wars theme! I do it with everything that sucks … just like this video.
Note – I forgot # 4 and #6 because I make great decisions and started making this thing at 11:30 PM last night. One of them was Lightsaber Hockey… and it’s as dangerously fun as it sounds.
Here’s my audition for the Bachelor Canada Season 2. I figured this was easier than online dating.
A note to the casting directors – I’m very good at subtle product placement in case you have more sponsors to add this year. Also, I am willing act as the b****y one or the girl who got dumped for Kim Kardashian.
Disney is having open auditions for Star Wars Episode 7.
This is my audition. Get a tissue, because things are about to get Meryl Streep-y.